Procrastinating: part 2

*If you don't want to read this whole post, please read the last paragraph, I need your help*

So last month I wrote a post on procrastinating. You can read that here. I feel like since then my procrastinating has gotten worse. Much worse. So much so that on Monday night I got one hour of sleep. I practically pulled an all-nighter. This is something I had always told myself I would never do. Yet there I was, awake until four thirty tuesday morning. The worst part about it was that I had absolutely and completely no excuse. I was not busy over the weekend. I had no other homework. AND we had monday off for a teacher work day. Not only was I not busy, not only did I have no other work, but I also had an extra day to do it.  

At 3 in the morning my mom came into my room and found me still working. I was so ashamed. I was crying and telling her "I know I know I can't ever do this again!" "I never thought it would take this long!". You know, the usual excuses. But this time was different. What I did, or didn't do, has affected me this whole week. I am still yet to completely make up for all the lost sleep. I am unbelievably lucky and thankful to God that I didn't  get into a car accident this week. I was exhausted. Shutting my eyes at stoplights, feeling dizzy and lightheaded from lack of sleep. My simple act of procrastinating could have cost me my life. And because it didn't, I want to change. I never want this to happen again. If I ever get into a life threatening car accident, I do not want it to be my fault. Hell I'm worried about potentially losing my own life, I could have killed someone else too. This may seem dumb to worry about something so unlikely, but this is not something I want to joke about anymore. On thursday when this homework was assigned, I actually turned to my friend and said "you know I'm gonna be doing this on monday night." 

How would I have felt, if on tuesday morning on my way to school, I hit a car and someone died. And I would have known that it was because I was tired and my reflexes were slower. I would have known that someone died because I procrastinated. That I could have prevented this. 

I'm not writing this because I think that was likely to happen. I'm not even writing it because I feel guilty. Yeah, I definitely feel guilty. But thats not why I'm writing this. I am writing this to scare myself, my future self. This is for next time. This is for the time when I'm bored and I decide to check to see if someone commented on my blog instead of doing my homework. This is so I remember that actions have consequences that could be completely unforeseeable.  

There is one other reason that I'm writing this. Aside from the drama and scare-tactics, I need help. I do not know how to get out of this vicious cycle. I am calling it a vicious cycle for several reasons. One, whenever I procrastinate, I am under a time constraint so I am more motivated, I get it done faster. Two, I always manage to get good grades anyway. And three, I never see a reason not to do it again. For the few people who have read this post of gigantic proportions, I need your help. I want your help. I'm just going to assume that you have procrastinated at least once in your life. What I want to know is were you able to stop? If so then tips are greatly appreciated. If not then were in the same boat. It would be great to have some buddies in this boat. We can help each other, rescue each other when we drown. I don't know about you, but I wish there was a support group for procrastinators. Maybe we can start our own. Or maybe no one will read this. But thats okay, I'll start anyway. 

Hi, my name is Natalie, and I am a procrastinator.